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I need advice

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    6

    I need advice

    So im 20 years old and just found out that im approximately 4 weeks pregnant. I told the guy that I was pregnant by who is 21, and he of course, panicked.... He asked me what we were going to do and suggested an abortion and i told him that it was a possibility, he said that he would support me no matter the choice. A couple days later I had made my decision and decided against abortion. And HE FREAKED. HE says im forcing a baby on him and not taking his life into consideration. He pretty much told me that if I didn't choose abortion he wouldn't support me. He said he never wanted Kids and doesn't want it to grow up in a "terrible life" or not having the best of everything in the world and being another statistic of young parents. I think he is just upset and panicking and I want to reassure him but I dont know what to say... because im freaking out myself and dont know if I can do it.... I dont even know how to be a mom

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    4
    Hi there, when I found out I was pregnant, which was planned, I was overwhelmed, I was only 23 and the father was 30 and we hadn't been together that long, but he was happy(also abit freaked out) and I love children and always wanted one, so I also thought about abortion but he promised me he would take care of me and we would have this happy family life, throughout my pregnancy he became distant and abusive and everyone said when the baby comes he will change so I waited, my daughter was born and the same night I was in hospital he was out partying, but I stuck it out until she was 10months until he hit was abusive to both me and my daughter, I left him and im n ow staying with my parents. I often cry thinking its unfair cause my life has changed and im still young i'll never be able to meet anyone ect. BUT my daughter who is 18months now is the most precious gift I coulod have ever asked for and although I don't know much about babies and kids ect im learning each day and it does just come naturally to you and you want to be the best person you can be for your childs sake, and ive been on a few dates with people who think shes amazing ect. if you have a support group and you can tell yourself you will never resent having your child then I would go ahead with it, cause it will be tough at times but if you have family and friends by your side everything will be ok

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    102
    I was 20 when I got pregnant with my boyfriend (at the time, also 20). It was hard not having much support & being so young. I wanted to give my baby a family so I tried to be with her father. I kept thinking he would change over time or when the baby came. He was very immature, cheated on me many times, & went out to party with his friends a lot. While I was pregnant, we lived with his mom. After the baby was born, we had some time to find our own place. When our daughter was 2 months old, we moved into an apartment and life got worse. He no longer had his mom watching him so he never came home or stayed out all night. Most of the time it was just my daughter and I. When my daughter was 9 months, I was done with all his crap and we moved in with my parents. Life was hard and I felt I would never be happy.

    Long story short, when my daughter was 3 years old, I met my husband. We dated, got engaged, then we got married. I am SO happy with my life and with my daughter. I knew in my heart as soon as I had gotten pregnant that I wanted to keep my baby no matter what. I am SO happy that I did not have an abortion that EVERYONE was trying to force me to have. Yes, it was hard and sometimes it still is hard, but in the end it was all worth it.

    My daughter is now 9 years old and my husband and I have been married almost 5 years now. I could not imagine my life without my daughter.

    It is true that being a mother will come naturally. It will be hard work, but with the right support, you can do it if that is what you truly want. Good luck to you and enjoy your pregnancy.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    2
    The first thing is take a deep breath. No one knows how to be a mom not even someone who has planned their entire life out. I never thought I would be a young mom but I got pregnant at 19 and now I have an 8 year old son. Although I don't regret having my son, it has made my life more difficult. As a parent you have to grow up much faster. There were so many choices I had to make as a young adult that most of my friends didn't have to make until their 30s. This guy you're with sounds like a real jerk and he should not be pressuring you either way because your the one who is going to bear the brunt of responsibility here. If you're not ready to have this baby, don't have it. I have had many friends who have had abortions that have never regretted it. If you chose to terminate your pregnancy you should do so because that's what you want and not this boy.

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