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Desperate need of help. I know it's long but please

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2014

    Desperate need of help. I know it's long but please

    It's long but please read. So I've been looking for some type of support and I'm hoping I can get some here with out being judged. My last mom forum page I was attacked and called names and my post wasn't about anything crazy at all! It was just about how my bestfriend is pregnant and I have 6 month old twins and can't help myself but try to make her understand how hard being a mom is. Despite the fact that she's completely naive and oblivious. What I recieved back was people calling me crazy and saying I'm jealous and controlling. Which I'm definitely not crazy at all I'm a normal wonderful mother. What they were saying was that it seems like I'm jealous because she gets to have a normal singleton pregnancy and be able to devote all of her time to that one baby. Where as I had a very hard pregnancy, and delivery, and recovery, and had a hard time adjusting to the struggles of having preemature twins (no I did not/ do not have postpartum I am 100% happy). If this is true I'm not admitting it to myself because I would never trade my babies for anything I adore them. But my life is harder than most of course. I have 2 babies that want the exact same thing at the exact same time there is 2 of them and 1 of me. I do feel guilty that I can't hold them both comfortably at the same time and rock them or whatever. If I do they're touching each other and aren't very comfortable. I feel terrible when I can't hold them both while I feed them and can't give them the "normal" life of a single baby. But they arent ever going to live normal single baby lives because they're twins. I don't know if deep down I am jealous of that one on one attention she will be able to give that baby. Or if it just annoys me that she thinks having a baby is so easy. I am just desperate for some non judgmental feedback. Like I said I would never trade my babies for a single baby EVER. But until you've experienced a pregnancy filled with hospital stays, pre term labor drugs, and living in fear of my babies deaths then you can't judge me. And until you've taken care of twin preemies then you can't judge me. Btw they are 6 months old and 100% healthy now. Praise Jesus.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    hats off to you for your hard work raising twins. It can always be frustrating watching someone close to you get a simpler trial at child rearing. Being a mom is hard work and anyone who is a mother knows this. You are not jealous you are just speaking your experience and there is nothing at all wrong with that. Remember, we come into this life having chosen particular paths and how we navigate them is our own journey and learning experience. Take pride in what you accomplished and allow your friend her easy path of pregnancy for that is her chosen path. Do not feel as though you can't give your twins the undivided attention you think they need because you are giving them exactly what they need, you are a beautiful mother who gave life to these healthy babies. They knew coming to this life as twins what that entailed...a friend for life that knows them better than anyone. Hold your head high and enjoy your motherhood and give love and support to all other mothers and you will receive the same in return. Love and light.

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