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Sex after birth

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    9

    Sex after birth

    I've always wanted kids, but have been so disappointed with myself that even without any complications I feel that: pregnancy wasn't what I expected, labor and delivery makes me cry when I think about it and I don't know why, recovery has sucked, and even after hearing that newborns are a lot of work I was often overwhelmed during the first month and a half. My son is now two months old and I'm finally starting to have more good mood days than sad/overwhelmed days.



    I always thought we'd have two kids, but I don't think I could handle it all over again, especially when I think about how much worse/harder other women's pregnancy-newborn phases have been. This (and worried about the pain) has made me scared to have sex. My husband and I have talked in the past that after we're done having kids he's getting a vasectomy. He has also always said he's fine with one child. I just don't feel ready to finalize our family size, even though I'm terrified of getting pregnant again.

    Anyone else experience this? I keep thinking to myself that maybe my son will be an only child, which makes me sad because I always thought he'd have a sibling.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    11
    Don't hurry with the decision now. Because it spends a very little time from your delivery. It's normal that now you are scared to have a second child for a lot of reasons. Leave this question for the future. Then you can think objectively.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Bangladesh
    Posts
    6
    I don't think you should do hurry in this case. Take your time. Thank you!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    6
    Hi Dancer,
    It sounds like you might be dealing with some mild post-partum depression. I find this often happens when labor and delivery have caused some trauma. Newborns are so labor intensive and time consuming, your body doesn't feel like your own, and many women (myself included) feel like they don't know what they are doing with this new little creature. Shouldn't it be more instinctive? It's not!

    If the labor and delivery continues to cause you upset, you might want to find a therapist who specializes in trauma so that, whether or not you decide to have another baby, you don't continue to feel traumatized by something that isn't happening anymore and that, in fact, you have survived!

    Definitely wait on that vasectomy! And make sure you find ways to work with your husband on the sex thing so he doesn't end up feeling like he got put out to pasture.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    2

    Don't rush, your baby is still young

    I almost made the decision after my 3rd to get my tubes tied. The doctor asked that I wait a little while. Am I am so grateful I did. I gave birth to my only son ( had 3 girls ) about 2 years later. He is the love of my life! He was the a tough pregnancy and even tougher newborn but I wouldn't change it for a second. You have to do what is right for you and your family. Really try and picture what your life will be like with two. And what your marriage will be like and and what your sons life will be like. Will it change your lifestyle, will it effect your work, how will it change things. Is this something you look forward to down the road? Don't rush into anything yet, your baby is still young and you could change your mind.

    Hope this helps a little !
    Jamie



    Quote Originally Posted by Dancer View Post
    I've always wanted kids, but have been so disappointed with myself that even without any complications I feel that: pregnancy wasn't what I expected, labor and delivery makes me cry when I think about it and I don't know why, recovery has sucked, and even after hearing that newborns are a lot of work I was often overwhelmed during the first month and a half. My son is now two months old and I'm finally starting to have more good mood days than sad/overwhelmed days.

    I always thought we'd have two kids, but I don't think I could handle it all over again, especially when I think about how much worse/harder other women's pregnancy-newborn phases have been. This (and worried about the pain) has made me scared to have sex. My husband and I have talked in the past that after we're done having kids he's getting a vasectomy. He has also always said he's fine with one child. I just don't feel ready to finalize our family size, even though I'm terrified of getting pregnant again.

    Anyone else experience this? I keep thinking to myself that maybe my son will be an only child, which makes me sad because I always thought he'd have a sibling.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    12
    You might just be a little depressed at the moment. I had a c-section and i was so stressed about having sex afterwards and even more worried about getting pregnant again and having to deal with a second c-section. However, after a few months I completely forgot about the pain I went through and would do it all over again for a second child.

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