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Young mom needs advice

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Towson, Maryland
    Posts
    2

    Young mom needs advice

    Hey, I'm Stephanie. I'm pretty young (almost 18) and me and my boyfriend, Jason, are the parents of an adorable two year old, Jaylyn, who will be three in October. I've been really stressed lately with family stuff. Jason pushes me around and yells a lot, he tells me I'm a terrible mother and I just don't know if I'm doing something wrong. I don't care that he smokes but he does it around Jaylyn which kinda bothers me. He yells at her a lot too and I know she doesent understand being only a toddler. I know I'm kind of ranting but I just need advice on how to fix this. My mom says if I don't get my act together, break up with Jason, and get a better job she'll kick me and Jaylyn out. That doesen't seem very fair to me and I want Jaylyn to be happy, I just really need a second opinion.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    3
    Hi Steph,

    This is really a sad scene and I'm deeply sorry. In my own opinion, your boyfriend is kind of having a bad treatment towards you, and I don't think that he still want to have a family with you and your kid. If he yells a lot, then there's no respect anymore. I think your mom is only threatening you so that you will break up with your boyfriend. Maybe she see's something ugly about your boyfriends' attitude. No mother want's to kick her own child off, she just wan't you to have a better life away from your boyfriend. Yes it's unfair but what's more unfair for me is when you give your life to a person who can't give his life back and respect both you and your child.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    2
    It's very sad. he is being so rude. I think you need to take break. May be it will work.

  4. #4
    That’s definitely a frustrating situation, Stephanie. How are you doing now? I think I agree with what ‘mommyofeyam’ said. I think it would be a good idea if you can talk to a trusted adult about this and seek their counsel – maybe it can help you. I hope you will find a solution to this situation soon. Take care of yourself and Jaylyn, too, okay?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    14
    I think that you should talk to Jason about his behaviour because you do not deserve that he is rude to you and Jaylyn.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    Edmonton, Alberta Canada
    Posts
    5
    Hi Stephanie. I remember when we had our first child. It was stressful. Mainly because kids don't come with instruction manuals and knowing what to do is sometimes hard to figure out. I was 30. Nothing prepares you for parenthood. Being so young and still in the growing up stage can compound the issues, frustration, and fears that come with parenting and being a couple. That being said, Jason should never put his hands on you in an abusive way. Yelling is a coping mechanism that some people use when they don't know what to do. I would suggest that you both seek out some wise counsel to help you to manage yourselves and figure things out. The most important thing to remember is the little girl who will lose out the most should you break things off.
    I hope this helps in some way.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Posts
    8
    Hi Stephanie, wishing you are fine. I realize your problem. Don’t disturb. Anger is a normal emotion can be handled with. The person who is angry, he needs his own private emotion coach in order to stop yelling. He already has one himself. In fact, the only way to become the patient, calm parent he wants to be is to "parent" himself compassionately. That means learning to coach ourselves lovingly through our own emotions, so we don't take them out of our children. This can be done by realizing that your #1 job as a parent (after safety) is to manage your own emotions. Commit to your family that you'll use a respectful voice. Remember that kids will act like kids. You also stop gathering "kindling". When you get angry, STOP.


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