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Hi there- I'm new here to this forum. I have a question on my boyfriend's 3 year old

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2017

    Lightbulb Hi there- I'm new here to this forum. I have a question on my boyfriend's 3 year old

    Good morning y'all!

    So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a little under a year. He has 2 beautiful children, both of whom are attached to me when we are all spending time together and in group/family settings. His daughter is 3 years old, and son just turned 1 year old.

    I wanted to wait about 4 months to meet his kids, just because I wanted to make sure [I'm sure some of you can relate to that]. I met them 3x in a park with their dad [neutral setting], about 5 months ago. I have fed them, changed diapers, fixed scraps, put them down for naps [successfully], had close family time together with them. I make sure to spend "special bonding time" with the little girl, painting her nails, blowing bubbles, etc. I haven't spent the night just yet, for fear that we are moving too fast.

    The 3 year old takes a couple of classes for performance; her mom is there at the same time during one of her performance classes. I went to the 1 performance class, [first time meeting her mom, which went ok- I was nice and respecful- which is important], and the 3 yr old started to cry and didn't want to participate during her class. Her dad asks his daughter a week later if I can come to the class, and his daughter said, "no".

    So, my question is: Do we keep persisting in me coming, even though his daughter says, "no", because she IS only 3 years old, and will have to get used to it sooner or later, or do I honor her wishes and not go?

    He is also working on planting the seed, mentioning to his daughter about me spending the night with them [in about a month or so, so it isn't sprung on her]. We are trying not to move too fast, or cause any disruptive behavioral patterns.

    I don't want to overstep the 3 year old's boundaries, because I want her to feel safe with me, but also at the same time, I want to be able to spend the night and watch her perform.

    Thanks for any insight y'all can offer. I accept all comments because I am totally new to this whole "Step mom" thing.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Does no one really have any advice?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2017
    I would ask her again. 3 year olds like to change their mind a lot. If she still says no after being asked again then I would not go for the next one but ask again after that. Sooner or later if she is still saying no then say "isn't it so exciting that I get to come see your performance this time?"

Please reply to this thread with any new information or opinions.

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