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Sex with 2 little ones

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Posts
    1

    Sex with 2 little ones

    Hello,

    I am a teacher, so I am currently at home all day with my kids while my husband works 10 hours. When he gets home, he helps out with dinner, bath etc. We get both kids to bed. As soon as both are sleeping my husband literally just takes his pants off, and says, "Let's have sex". I don't even get a second to breathe, or sit down. I just feel like I am non-stop trying to meet everyones needs. I told him I need more romance. Like maybe lets talk a little bit and ease into it. He usually just falls asleep then. I try once a week to have sex to fulfill his needs, but he continues to make side comments that we never have sex. I have to remind him, "Hey, remember two days ago when I met you in the shower" Listen I appreciate how turned on he is with me, but I feel so objectified when he does this. When I looked up advice online, all I could find was that I was at fault for not doing my job as a wife. WTF!

    Anyone feel the same?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    11
    So, here's the deal. Men and women have this SUPER tiny window where they both will be full-on ragin' hot for each other 24/7. This is typically when the baby makin' stage of life happens. Then, us ladies, we have our babies, and it literally changes our hormones up entirely. We settle in to tend to our little ones, and we're not thinking about more babies until the body tells us "another baby, please!". Meanwhile, men are these non-stop horndogs that just cannot get enough of anything with two legs and a cooch, it would seem. So we're in this constant state of stress to try to keep his eye from wandering while tending to our motherly duties at the same time, and truth be told? We just do NOT feel sexy with toddlers hanging off of each arm, spit up in our hair, and bags under our eyes. Most of the time, men just do NOT get this. They think, "Hey...I went to work today and had a really hard day. I'm tired too. But you don't see ME whining. So...where's the lovin'??" No....no...they just do not get it. A day at the workplace, without kids, is like a vacation. We don't even need the stale donuts and bad coffee in the break room to still call it a vacation. LOL!

    The really messed up part? Rumor has it that when we ladies hit our "sexual prime", our men will be dealing with wee wilty winkies and lookin' to invest in the little blue pill, while noticing their urine streams are getting less and less steady and require more and more concentration. So, we literally swap positions on the sex chart. We're swinging from the chandeliers, wishing for multiple orgasms with almost anything we can get our hands on, while they are like..."honey....just...let me take a nap, ok?"

    The bottom line here is NO...it's not your fault. You are a human being. Not all women are popping out babies and then jumping on their men the first chance they get. If they did...they'd be stair stepping kids their whole lives, and that isn't always a good thing for your body to be going through. Your body knows this, which is why your hormones take a nose dive after a baby is born and it takes a bit of time *usually* for them to come back up to a revving the engine for some fun time, status. in the mean time, your husband can invest in some "toys", which he can happily entertain himself with, so long as you aren't jealous of that sort of thing, and he is comfortable with it. Sometimes, when the mood strikes you, you can even join in and he will find it even hotter. But, if he wants to be intimate with you, then he is going to have to realize that sex isn't a word that you just say and it instantly makes you wet and ready. It's a time involved, romantic, intimate and beautiful thing that you share with EACH OTHER for bonding your relationship emotionally, and physically....and does NOT need to have physical gratification met by both parties every single time.

    TBH...there have been a few times that my husband has given me pleasure without getting any in return, beyond what he receives emotionally from gratifying me...and there are times it is the entirely opposite way around for him, from me. There are also times that life has been so chaotic and tireless that I simply didn't even have the energy to snore in his direction, let alone think about sex. After 20 years together....it's pretty much a given that if one of us is in the mood but the other is not? Well, ya either cold shower it...or go play alone. LOL! And that is reality.

    I'm betting your husband is probably late 20 something, early 30 something? If so? He'll eventually figure it out...after you hand him a magazine and some lotion. LOL! Other ladies might find that just awful and neglectful, but you know? Not all of us can be nimphs for our husbands 24/7. So no, do not feel bad.

  3. #3
    Hello my dear friend, I am so sorry to hear about your problem and I hope you will find a good solution at this forum with good advice. I know how it feels when you face such condition in your life. It is a really bad thing that you are going through such condition. First of all, you should not take stress and anxiety on your mind because of this problem. It is always important to stay positive and hopeful towards life to get good happiness in it. If you want to find a good solution for it, you should have to take your stand and your family. You are not a machine or robot who can perform all these tasks every day. You also have your own life and your feelings. Your husband should understand your current condition and he should know about your feelings and your desire in life. Most of the husbands are living such life when they work for the complete day and then they do sex and sleep. It is very important to have romance in your life and both of you should understand the importance of talking and romance instead of having sex and sleep. If you are not prepared for sex, you should simply say no and you should take your stand. You are not made to serve and entertain everyone in your family. Your children are your responsibility and you should take complete care of them but you should not how to face such unromantic sex with your husband. Instead of taking extra stress and anxiety on your mind, you should give concentration to other good and positive things in your life. You can easily solve this problem by talking directly to your husband about your feelings and your current condition.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Posts
    2
    I too go through this!! I tell my husband that if he's interested he needs to give me a little time to myself beforehand. What also helps is if he helps with the nightly chores (putting away leftovers). Sometimes taking a shower in between helps.

    Strangely enough we found that when we both took a day off and had someone watch the kids, it helped us reconnect. Maybe building time together during your own designated schedule rather than night would be helpful.

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