Hello, all! I am new to the forum, and I am posting because I am really in a pickle and would appreciate any creative suggestions/advice!

Almost a year ago, I gave birth to my awesome daughter on St Patty's day (so quickly approaching!) Since then I have been blessed and loving the mommy journey. Here's the thing, I, like most mommies, want to make a big deal out of her first birthday. I want her to be surrounded by love, family, and friends, and of course, I want plenty of photo ops. I have been avoiding planning anything at all for these reasons:

MAIN PROBLEM: My mother is so supportive and has been my main champion since I became a mother. That said, she is estranged from most of her family, and will not speak to my father or any of his relatives (who are also my relatives). So basically, if I have a party and invite her, I will not get to invite my father or paternal family. This is sad because since my mother doesn't have family, my paternal family (whom I am very close to) makes up the bulk of family who would actually show up and celebrate my daughter's birthday.

SECONDARY PROBLEM: I am a single mother, and her father is not involved. It was an abusive relationship that I chose to leave for the sake of my daughter. There is an active restraining order so inviting him is not an option. I truly believe it is not in our best interest for him to be involved right now. I am hoping one day he seeks professional help so I can feel safer co-parenting with him. But today is not that day. That said, I am also considering how his family is also my daughter's family and am considering inviting them. His sister, in particular, while not very involved, has never made excuses for him and supports my decision to fly solo. Plus, she has two young children (one my daughter's age), and these cousins would make great playmates! But how do I invite his family without inviting him? If none of them get invited, it wouldn't be ideal, but it also wouldn't be the end of the world because their involvement has been maybe 1-2 conversations and a visit to the hospital.

What do I do? Please help, I am down to the wire, and I have been avoiding planning anything at all because of these family dynamics. I have actually been really saddened and depressed to realize I will have to go through this same process for every major celebration for my daughter. It's awful that I would even have to consider not having a party for my wonderful daughter b.c of this. I am not going to let this bring us down, though! I will have a party, multiple if necessary.

Does anyone have any ideas for me? I really appreciate any advice.