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Mum and husband there for birth?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    2

    Mum and husband there for birth?

    Hi all, new to forum.
    Iím having a little dilemma, im 8 months pregnant and live in the USA, but am from England.

    My mum said she wanted to come over for the birth of the baby and my husband said if she does, then he will go into work the next day because then it will maximize the time Iím not alone with the baby (he works, Mum is here, then Mum goes back to England and he takes time off) I get where theyíre coming from but I want my husband to bond with our baby after heís born and feel he should be there for the first week of his life, and on the other hand I donít want to upset my mum, and I think she will be.

    I told her that my husband wants to have afew days after the birth and then weíll call her and book her flight and she seemed upset... I just canít please everyone! But I donít know how profoundly it will affect my mum if she isnít here for the birth!
    Any advice is appreciated
    Last edited by Bloomoon; 02-06-2018 at 03:49 PM. Reason: Paragraphs

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    New South Wales
    Posts
    13
    Hey there, I had the very same problem.
    My mum lives interstate and wanted to be with me for the birth. (well, in the waiting room as I had a c-section) She wanted to stay with my partner and I, but he wanted nothing to do with her for at least a month.
    Honestly, father-baby time is more important then grandmother-baby time. Granted, she will be upset. But your mum is also a mother and should very well understand this. Speak frankly to her. You'll be recovering from the birth and not much good at entertaining for at least a week, and you'll both need a little time to become accustom to having a new little person entirely depended upon you.
    Don't feel bad about hurting your mum's feelings, she should understand. And if she doesn't... well. You don't have to live with her right. Send her lots of photos the first day if that helps.
    Hope you can work this out swiftly, last thing you need now is to be worrying about such a thing.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by LisaLeigh View Post
    Hey there, I had the very same problem.
    My mum lives interstate and wanted to be with me for the birth. (well, in the waiting room as I had a c-section) She wanted to stay with my partner and I, but he wanted nothing to do with her for at least a month.
    Honestly, father-baby time is more important then grandmother-baby time. Granted, she will be upset. But your mum is also a mother and should very well understand this. Speak frankly to her. You'll be recovering from the birth and not much good at entertaining for at least a week, and you'll both need a little time to become accustom to having a new little person entirely depended upon you.
    Don't feel bad about hurting your mum's feelings, she should understand. And if she doesn't... well. You don't have to live with her right. Send her lots of photos the first day if that helps.
    Hope you can work this out swiftly, last thing you need now is to be worrying about such a thing.
    Thank you for your thoughtful response.
    You're absolutely right i need to s suck it up and tell her because my husband and need this time.
    Thanks again

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    US
    Posts
    5
    I had my husband only and my mum was waiting in the side room, came in now and again. In my opinion its a personal matter between the couple, we'd all like our mums there I suppose but don't think its very fair.

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